Oh no---another bloody cooker and it's not solar!

What the hell is it with this guy you say. He's been berating us with his feking solar oven (Yes, there's another post coming about my chocolate dewberry muffins!) and now this whatever the hell it is. What is it? It's Sheffield Rotisserie cooker---and it uses electricity---shame on me. I got it from Off The Rack, an online company. It was half price. I think I know why. It is made in China---what isn't now? The instructions are not up to it for a start. We had a hell of a job getting the bloody thing to actually stay on. It kept clicking off. It was only after we worked out that you needed to keep the handle off it or the switch kept cutting out. There was nothing in the instructions (yes, I did read them) to help us with that. Anyway, that's why I have a partner who has a few more brains then me, techie wise. OK, it finally stayed on and the house began to fill with the most incredible cooking smell. Here's what I did. This thing can cook just about anything but I chose one of those recipes they use for Donnas Kebab--you know, a roll of meat  that cooks and you shave off the nice crunchy bits. I asked my butcher what type of meat I should use. My friendly Aussie Butcher in Mt Roskill helped me as usual. I used a Bolar roast that I sliced and marinade(d) overnight in spicy mixture that I will have to kill you if I give you my secret. (OK, ask me and I will tell you) I arranged the meat interspersed with bacon and built up a shape that looked a little like the real thing in a Turkish shop. Well, not quite, but it looked OK. I just know it is going to work, judging by the mouth watering waft of spicy wonderfulness, coming from the cooker. I think my sister will smell it as she walks down the long drive. Oohh, I think I saw the neighbours looking over at us! We shall serve it with rice, tomatoes and asparagus. MMM, I can just feel a nice Chardonnay opening itself and throwing itself into a glass, and---I won't be leaving it there!
www.authorneilcoleman.com

Yeah, another damned cooker!