Before
someone accuses me of being some kind of ‘anti-New Zealand tourist terrorist,’
read on my friends. Today I heard about an unsuspecting naive tourist from
Scotland was mugged by a New Zealander and unfortunately this is not an
uncommon occurrence. The victim hails from Scotland and if he is some distant
relative, I apologize on behalf of all New Zealanders. Surely tourists should
be able to go about their business without been taken advantage of by unscrupulous
locals.
This unfortunate
gentleman had taken a break to snap some pictures of the magnificent mountains
he was travelling through. Perhaps he felt homesick for his native Scotland;
the hills and glens a far off memory and paling into significance compared to
the beauty he was observing.
He had heard
that New Zealand is basically a laid back and generally ‘honest place.’ He had
even heard that in the more ‘rural’ areas, one could leave the back door open.
He did just that, with his campervan. After all, what could go wrong? The other
‘happy’ tourists looked decidedly decent so what the hell.
Unknown to
him a rather feathery ‘native’ was lurking, watching his every move. When
Scotty left his van unattended and with the windows wide open the said beast, a
New Zealand Highland parrot, called the Kea, took his chances. The sneaky little
sod flew into the car and rummaged around, searching for items that could be ‘tradable’
amongst his other criminal friends. Apparently this bird, yes bird, was well connected
to a few good fences (if such a person exists).
THE 'VICTIM.'
THE 'CRIMINAL.' 
