Tuesday, June 18, 2013

My beautiful 'fecked' pergola!

So you just bought a new pergola and you are looking forward to using it during the rain, sort of like an all-weather BBQ space, where you can relax in the shade on a hot summers day, or hide form the rain while entertaining your friends with you BBQ cooking away in the background. It has nice hardy canvas topping and a brushed steel framework. Wonderful----it should last for years, right. Hey---al the main stores sell them and you can pay way over $500 for them. I bought mine and paid someone $100 to put it up. He did a great job and before you say, 'why didn't you do it yourself?' think again. You obviously don't know me. I did not earn the nickname re DIY projects, as 'rip shit and bust' for nothing. I have no skills or interest in pursuing such projects and why not give someone else the job. I am doing society a favour by creating employment and saving myself and others from severe mental health issues by diverting my anger and frustration.
The pergola was wonderful, although it did tend to look a bit like a tent in an urban oasis. I used it for the intended purposes and then some, like drying washing along with the usual social servicing centre aspects.
Everything was fine for a few weeks  until I noticed a tiny rip up at the top along the rim of the framework. I just stuck 'duck tape' on both sides and it seemed to work. But---- the  weather in Auckland is not always like the long hot summer we have just had. The wind finally blew and after a few storms---well, let the picture tell the story. The moral of my sad blog----'''don't get sucked into buying one of these in the belief that they will last.''' Shops like Mitre Ten or Bunning's do not tell you that they should be taken down regularly. I mean---you try and get that top off every time you smell a storm or high winds! You just ain't gonna do it unless you have paid household servants.
I should have spend a bit more and got something way more permanent and of solid construction. Hopefully the new one that my friendly neighbour is going to put up for me will last a great deal longer and look one hell of a lot better. OH, try and take your ripped up fecked pergola back to the place of purchase--- I doubt they will want to give you another one--the same damn thing will happen!
Oh dear, I don't think that was meant to happen! The bloody tops gone!
 

Australians are buying up houses in New Zealand, big time.

We can take several different slants on the latest report that it is Australians buying up New Zealand houses and not Asian people. This must get under Mr Peter’s skin (Leader of New First) because it will take the wind out of his sails and make it harder for him to target that group, come election time. We now know that Australians are snapping up what they believe to be bargain prices, forcing up the prices of course for NZers. So, we cannot blame anyone else other than our cousins from across the ‘ditch.’
With Mr Peters now looking for other targets to help him reach the magic 5% threshold needed for next year’s election, we should take a closer look at the reasons behind this latest piece of information. Is there some sinister plot on the part of Aussies to ‘take over’ NZ simply by making it untenable for ordinary NZers to own houses in their own country.
Maybe they love us so much that they want us all to move on over there so that they can force the price of labour down, thereby having a willing and compliant labour force to do the things they don’t want to do.
Perhaps the Aussies have seen the writing on the wall. They see economic breakdown occurring in their ‘lucky country’ and need a bolt hole to hide in when the proverbial finally hits the fan. Or, is it the prospect of millions of ‘boat people’ descending on the northern and eastern coasts of Australia that is frightening Australians to the extent that are seeking more distant pastures in which to play their Aussie Rules. Trouble is, Kiwis just don’t get it, so imagine the rivalry that will occur on that front!
No, forget economics, xenophobia, sporting nightmares or even climatic disasters! It’s the fear on the part of Julia Gillard supporters that they are going to live under a very different regime after the next Australian Federal elections. The prospect that the Labor (Aussie spelling again, sorry) Party is about to be cast aside to wander in the never land regions of Australian politics for several election cycles is one that Labor voters and politicians cannot stomach. Knowing that the Greens are probably going to be their bigger brother in Parliament and possibly the Senate, it just too much to stomach.
So the great diaspora of Australians has begun. They are setting up nest in New Zealand and no doubt some New Zealanders will seek drier pastures in Australian in the mistaken belief that life will be better for them. The ebb and flow of Trans-Tasman people flow will continue and sheep jokes will only slightly diminish as new New Zealand citizens take offence at the former bastion of humour attempts.
Has anything really changed by these momentous events? Nah, yeah Nah! To those people who are offended by my ‘observations, I sincerely apologise---yeah right!
www.authorneilcoleman.com