It only happens when-------BUGGER!

Today I had the pleasure of attending a meeting that MIT was hosting to discuss-----that went well---it was after that didn't! OK I parked in the big car park outside the campus. I locked my car and headed off to my very productive meeting. I am not going to talk about that as it may sound like I am writing an advert for that prestigious institution. I am of course referring to the Manukau Institute of Technology, not some wannabe in the USA! Jump forward two hours! I heads to the car park. Where's my car. Oh shite-----where the hell did I park it. All I can see is a sea of cars, many of them grey, like my soon to be traded Hyundai Getz. Thank God I am getting a blue car in a few days, a 'pristine blue,' no less! How does one find a car in a big car park, when he has not taken note of where it was parked? Well folks, NZers say 'bugger' a lot and that is nothing to do with the old meaning of that word. It is a 'national iconic' expression; one used by the high, mighty and not the above. One says it for a myriad of reasons, but I can assure you that my inner language and some expressed, was way more explicit. I wandered up and down many rows of boring grey cars. Had someone stolen my car? How would that affect the transaction I was due to complete on Sunday? I pondered various strategies to find my car, given that it still existed in its place of rest! It was only after about 20 minutes of intimate searching amongst the cars, whereby I was starting to attract attention. I am sure that is I was dressed in a slightly less 'tidy state' (my definition probably differs from yours!)phone calls would have been made. Sometimes it is good to look a little 'old' and not portray that 'intention to commit a heinous crime,' look. If I had a hoodie or---you can fill the rest in---it wouldn't be right for me to continue in that train of thought. I remembered my key---I made it bleep the car and finally after nearly running the battery out, the car said 'hi' to me. We were reunited and I thankfully sank into the seat, thinking---you just did this because you are about to find a new owner! Upon leaving the car park, I notice some paper scrunched up under the window wipers. Two letters were emblazoned on the paper--AT---Auckland Transport. BUGGER! Yes---wouldn't you known it. I got a bloody parking infringement. OK---only $15! My thoughts were with the students at the institution. $15 is possibly the difference between eating instant noodles and having a bit of red blooded meat! I better remember to pay the ticket or it will be a lot more --yes BUGGER!