Hairy tale from the Coast (as 'reported by Perdy Jack Russell)

"It's not often I get the chance to put paw to keyboard, so expect a few barking glitches in my blog!' You all know I've shifted from Mt Roskill and now run with the birds on the coast just north of Thames. Oh my pooch in the sky---things are very different. Even 'he who thinks he's boss,' is more relaxed, taking more walks and even allowing me to escape from time to time. BUT---you should see him when I disappear out a gap he didn't know about. I ain't telling him about the others. 'He' takes me on lots of trips---damn---some of them are 'long gaps between weewees' away. There's gonna be puddles if he keeps that up. Take yesterday, for example---he wanted to go to a place called Morrinsville---I think it's named after a famous Jack Russell called Morris---well anyway---off we go and---I have never seen so mnay moocows---hell---some looked like Jack Russells, but even I don't eat that much grass. Buggered if i know why he won't let me loose---I'd chase the buggers till the dogs come home!They would love it. Well---we eventually arrived at that town---he left me in the car---what a mean sod! He only went to 'bank a bit of paper'---cause he said that Thames didn't have the right bank. THEN--he turned the little blue Hyundai around---oops---they even had colourful moocows in the main street---what's with this lot donw here---are moocows important or something. maybe they worship them, like I saw something about on TV. Didn't he know that I wanted another pee. Hey---he read my thoughts--hopefully not ALL OF THEM! That would present---issues. He took me to a park. Cute little place, with lots of leaves to roll in. I think he even took moving pictures of them and let you all know. I quite like acting for those events. Wouldn't ya know it---he travelled back to Thames on the same road---he could have gone another way---to show me the sights, but no.Then to rub it in, he stopped at a cafe in a tiny little place that must have got lost when the big guy in the sky made towns, and brought a pie----a pork and watercress one. Man---that smelled so good. Did I get any? NUUUUUP! Great trip---DAD!!! He must have felt a bit guilty because after he had finished mowing the lawn with his flash new self-propelled mower (I reckon he pretends he's pushing it and puts this look on that says---'hey---I'm so tired after all that pushing'---but the lazy sod just follows behind it--what a laugh! I heard him using the 'F' word heaps when the roses attacked him----lol. He tells me off when I use it!He did take me out for another walk, after he had recovered from his'work.' It was just going to be a ten minute one, he said. Yeah right---that's not possible in this town. He runs into someone and---yeah, you guessed it---he gasses away with all these people. I sniff the bits and pieces of the other dogs but hey---one can only sniff so much and then--let us off the lead to do our thing. But no---he doesn't trust me now to go off leash---all because he had to wait while i conducted a census as to where all the cats are in the vicinity of the park. Such fun, such fun!He was really pissed though, because he had one of those 'turns' he has from time to time. Now-----light the fire dude---you know I love that! Life on the Coast is just dandy---just make sure you remind the 'boss' who really IS!!!! Hey---I used spellcheck so I didn't do bad, eh. PERDY!!!!